Parenting is for the Weak (2024)

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Parenting is for the Weak (1)

Parenting is for the weak. That may not seem to make sensebut stick with me.

I've been feeling completely worn out lately. Four boys keep me running all hours of the day… and night. A nursing baby who thinks mommy is his own personal pacifier makes it tough to get a good night of sleep. Even on a good day, this parenting thing is tiring.

And then there are those really bad days. You know the days? The ones when everything those crazy boys do gets on your nerves. The days that makeyou feel like you're losing your mind.

And there are days that I long for bedtime when they will all go down and my job will bedone for that day. Then I hear the one who can't settle causing trouble with his talking. Then someone comes out because they can't sleep. And suddenly,I'm yelling at them to go to sleep and I'm storming down the hallway flinging threats. I'm hit with the reality that parenting doesn't stop at the end of the day. My job doesn't end at sundown.

I know I'm not alone. You don't have to hide or deny it. Why? Because I know that parenting is for the weak.

Too often I've thought I had to do this parenting this on my own. I have to be the best. Don't show weakness. Don't let the kids see you struggle because they will take you down. Recently I had the opportunity to read a book that has helped me turn my mindset around.

I was sent a copy of Parenting: 14 Gospel Principles That Can Radically Change Your Family by Paul David Tripp to read and share with you.

Parenting is for the Weak (2)

Parenting

My pastor quotes Paul David Tripp regularly.Dr. Tripp is a pastor, author, and speaker. He's written many books on Christian living related topics. His heart is to help people see how the Gospel speaks hope in practical ways to the things people experience in a broken world. He's also a dad with four kids.

I've never read one of Dr. Tripp's books before this one but I was confident it would be an enjoyable and enlightening read. I didn't expect Parenting would follow so closely along with my current study of Romans and I certainly didn't expectthat it would be one of those books that would change my life.

I read a lot and it's easy to say that I liked a book or that a particular book was good. This one is different. I didn't expect this to be one of those books that I would give a place of respect and reference on my bedside table. But, Parenting has earned that status for me.

Gospel Principles for Parents

I was drawn in by the first paragraph of the introduction of Parenting:

“Your house is noisy and not as clean as you'd like it to be, you and your husband haven't been out together in a long time, the laundry has piled up once again, you just discovered there's nothing to pack for lunch, you've just broken up another fight, the schedule for the week looks impossible, you seem to have more expenses than money, none of the people around seem to be satisfied, and you feel exhausted and unappreciated.” pg. 11

Continue reading the introduction and first chapter here in this Kindle preview:

Get Parenting on Amazon

Does Dr. Tripp have cameras in my house? Does he have spies in my head?

I feel so inadequate to parent these crazy boys God has given me. I want a magic 3-step process to raising good kids. But, God doesn't give me that. He gives me himself and expects me to offer the same to my kids.

Dr. Tripp explains that these simple formulas are helpful, but those formulas are useless if we do not have a foundational understand of parenting with the Gospel in mind. Parents are not owners of their children. Instead, they are ambassadors of God to their children. It's my job as a mom to represent God. To speak and act for Him. To make an invisible God visible for my kids. To do that, I must know God and then show Him to my kids.

Dr. Tripp unpacks 14 principles rooted in the Gospel that should shape your understanding of your role and responsibility as a parent.

  • Calling
  • Grace
  • Law
  • Inability
  • Identity
  • Process
  • Lost
  • Authority
  • Foolishness
  • Character
  • False Gods
  • Control
  • Rest
  • Mercy

My Takeaway from Parenting

“Rather than being unkind, it is biblical to look at your children and to understand that you are parenting fools.” pg. 130

I marked up Parenting so much that there's no way I could share a list of favorite quotes and insights with you. Doing so would border on copyright infringement!

Every time I turned a page I was faced with another realization about myself and my fallen sinful nature. Each page gave me a new insight into why parenting is hard and how my biggest enemy is me.

“The mystery of the way God works is that he sends fools to rescue fools and because he does, it takes grace to be a tool of God's agenda of rescuing grace.” pg. 136

In the end, my biggest takeaway is this: Parenting requires relationship. First I must have a relationship with God. Then I must have a relationship with my children. My relationship with my kids needs tobe rooted in telling and retelling the God's redemption story, over and over again, through my words and my actions. I must tell that story day in and day out knowing that I'm not capable of saving my children and I'm not able to raise them on my own. In my weakness, God has called me to parent. He wants me to rely on His strength not my own.

See? Parenting is for the weak.

Giveaway

I'm really excited to be able to give a copy of Parenting to one of my readers. To enter, use the entry form below:

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Tell me in the comments: What is currently your biggest parenting struggle?

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Disclosure (in accordance with the FTC's 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsem*nts and Testimonials in Advertising”):Many thanks to Propeller Consulting, LLC for providing this prize for the giveaway. Choice of winners and opinions are 100% my own and NOT influenced by monetary compensation. I did receive a sample of the product in exchange for this review and post.

Only one entrant per mailing address, per giveaway. If you have won a prize from our sponsor Propeller /FlyBy Promotions in the last 30 days, you are not eligible to win. Or if you have won the same prize on another blog, you are not eligible to win it again.Winner is subject to eligibility verification.

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Parenting is for the Weak (2024)

FAQs

What is Gurycka's theory of parental mistakes? ›

According to Gurycka, a parent who considers the representation of the child and that child's tasks as less important than the parent's tasks can apply pressure to the child in order to interrupt that child's activity or to subordinate the child to the tasks of that parent.

Is it normal to not want to be a parent anymore? ›

It's okay to admit that parenting is hard. It's okay to acknowledge that sometimes, you might not want to do it anymore. What matters is finding a way to cope, to seek support, and to remember that it's normal to feel this way.

Why is parenting so hard for me? ›

As most parents agree, taking care of a child and his or her many, many needs can be physically and emotionally exhausting. Everyday stresses, such as getting kids ready for school, working from home or running extra errands, can make parenting more difficult.

When you don't agree on parenting? ›

If parents really can't agree, they have to compromise. This often means choosing one parent's idea to test out. If that doesn't work for the child, then test out the other parent's approach. In a good marriage or a divorce where parents get along, having different parenting styles is not a bad thing.

What is the toxic parent theory? ›

Toxic parents may invade your privacy or not allow you to make your own decisions. Or maybe they're overly critical and controlling of your decisions, even as an adult. Manipulative behaviors. Your parent may try to control you by using guilt or shame to play with your emotions.

What is the greatest paradox of parenting? ›

Helping our kids get their own confidence and become who they are supposed to be requires 'taking off the training' wheels sort of speak sometimes. Whether your kids are 2 or 22, the process of letting go and trusting God can be so hard. This is perhaps the greatest paradox of parenting.

What age is the hardest to parent? ›

From toddler tantrums to teen angst, parenting children at any age can be tough. Research shows that some people find it hardest to parent children in their middle school years. Puberty and peer pressure can leave these teens feeling angry, alone, and confused, which can cause bad behavior and disagreements.

What is depleted mother syndrome? ›

Mom burnout sometimes called depleted mother syndrome, is the feeling of mental, emotional, and physical exhaustion, depersonalization, and lack of fulfillment caused by intense child care demands. Burnout is the result of too much stress and a lack of resources for coping with it.

What is depleted dad syndrome? ›

Described as “an exhaustion syndrome,” parental burnout has three distinct aspects: An overwhelming exhaustion related to parenting and your role as a parent. Feeling emotionally distanced from your children. A sense of ineffectiveness as a parent; feeling unsure of your ability to parent well.

What ages does parenting get easier? ›

It's still hard in emotional ways, but logistically, there is a definitive shift at some point. For me, that shift occurred when our youngest child turned six. That was the magical age when parenting got significantly easier, at least in the practical sense.

Is being a mom harder than being a dad? ›

Mothers are also more likely than fathers to say being a parent is tiring (47% vs. 34%) and stressful (33% vs. 24%) all or most of the time. Still, large majorities of moms – and dads – say they find parenting to be enjoyable and rewarding (shares ranging from 79% to 83% say this is the case all or most of the time).

How do you survive bad parenting? ›

How to survive a difficult parent
  1. Stay calm. When a horrid parent starts criticising you it can be frightening and infuriating. ...
  2. Learn to accept your situation. ...
  3. Don't retaliate. ...
  4. Look to your future with hope. ...
  5. Believe in yourself. ...
  6. Talk to someone you trust. ...
  7. Look after yourself.
Mar 11, 2017

What to do when you're not enjoying parenting? ›

Give these tips a try:
  1. Start with accepting your limitations. You cannot do everything and be everything. ...
  2. Set boundaries. ...
  3. Reset your expectations. ...
  4. Let go of some control. ...
  5. If you feel the need to shout – go out! ...
  6. Switch off the parenting advice. ...
  7. Check the basics: Sleep, diet, and exercise. ...
  8. Find some support.
Nov 11, 2021

Is it normal not to enjoy parenting? ›

Being a parent is hard, and the secret is that no one likes being one all the time. There are going to be plenty of times in your life that you will hate being a parent, and it starts the same time that motherhood begins. Now that you know this, it's time to help yourself bounce back.

What is the golden rule of parenting? ›

Parents wanting to help their children grow to be loving and responsible adults can do no better than to remember the Parenting Golden Rule: "Treat your child as you would like to be treated if you were in the same position." It's simple, straightforward, and effective.

What is Grolnick theory of parental involvement? ›

Grolnick and Slowiaczek (1994) created a three-pronged parental involvement framework, including school, personal, and cognitive/intellectual involvement. School involvement includes behaviors that parents engage in at their children's school, such as volunteering at school.

What is the parental theory? ›

The PDT addresses the issue of parenting by examining how parents, their parent role perceptions, and consequent parenting shifts and changes over time as parents adjust and respond to their own experience, their children, the parent-child relationship, family dynamics, and the social-cultural milieu.

What is the parental rejection theory? ›

Parental acceptance-rejection theory (PARTheory) is an evidence-based theory of socialization and lifespan development that attempts to predict and explain major causes, consequences, and other correlates of interpersonal—especially parental—acceptance and rejection within the United States and worldwide (Rohner, 1986, ...

What did Freud believe about parenting? ›

Freud theorized about parental introjection, where children learn that parents seem pleased by certain behaviors (and so want to do those behaviors more to get rewards and love) and displeased by other behaviors (and so want to do those behaviors less to avoid punishment and loss of love).

References

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